


We Went To An Orgy And We Didn't Have Sex (well...kind of...)

by iris_rise



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Humor, Friends to Lovers, M/M, More tags to be added, Pining, Semi-Public Sex, Sex Party, Silly, buzzfeed would never make this video, jealous!Ryan, slight BDSM
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-03-05 15:47:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13391070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iris_rise/pseuds/iris_rise
Summary: They met at a bar that afternoon before filming started. Liquid courage, Ryan had called it. "Or a surefire way to a pair o' whiskey dicks," Shane quipped back, giving him a playful smile, and Ryan knew he was totally screwed.ORShane and Ryan agree to film a one-off Buzzfeed documentary-type show, 'We Went To An Orgy and We Didn't Have Sex', in which they attend a sex party and try to keep their hands off one another.





	1. The Proposition

**Author's Note:**

> hello all! I've loved all the stories I've read in the Shyan fandom so far, so much so it's inspired me to have a go at my own. I haven't written fic for a long time and certainly never RPF (forgive me, boys), so any feedback is very welcome!
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!

“I’m sorry, but what did you just say?!”

“‘We went to an orgy and we didn’t have sex’” Adam repeated, grinning at Ryan’s expression. “That’s the project’s working title. Catchy, huh?” He sat back in his chair, looking pleased with himself. “And with you two in the thumbnail - total clickbait!”

Ryan Bergara was not having a good morning. He’d spilt coffee over a stack of handwritten research notes; he’d missed his personal best on his run this morning by just six and half seconds; and when he’d arrived at work, someone had stolen his parking space. He’d ended up having to leave his car far away from the Buzzfeed offices, over by the creepy alley and next to the dumpsters, and so he was pretty sure he was gonna get mugged or murdered tonight when he went back to get it.

And now - now he had this shit to deal with.

“Right, fine whatever,” Ryan ran a hand through his hair. “I heard what you said, I just don’t...I mean...I’m just not sure about...well you know...”

“I don’t get the concept,” his co-worker Shane cut across him. “It doesn’t make sense”.

Thank god, Ryan sighed internally. Who would have thought Shane fucking Madej would be the saving voice of sanity in this situation? He glanced over to his friend, gangly and handsome and always suspicious of things he didn’t understand. In that moment, Ryan had never felt so pleased to have a man like Shane on his side. He said a second silent thank you to all the gods of all religions that for once, skeptic and believer had found something to agree on.

Now if they could just stay like that - if they could maintain a united front - then they just might be able to wriggle out of this project. They could go back to their desks, laugh about Adam and his harebrained schemes, and all would be right with the world.

Ryan’s fervent nodding was almost embarrassingly enthusiastic. “Exactly! I’m with Shane - it makes no sense at all. In fact, it sounds totally unfeasible. Sorry Adam!”

Adam looked perplexed for a moment. He hadn’t expected resistance, but he wouldn’t be deterred so easily. Leaning forwards across the desk, he gave the boys his most charming smile.

“Oh, well it’s a simple premise really. It’s a sex party, organised by a very reputable company in LA - they’re very discreet and professional, you know, and they cater for the all the top people - celebrities, politicians, millionaires...and now, for you two.” He paused for a moment to grin at the two faces seated opposite him, the one racked with nervous energy, the other almost expressionless, except for a hint of faint amusement. “The idea is that you two attend one of the parties and you film a couple of talking heads for us - you know, your before, during, and after reactions, sharing your journey with the viewers over the course of the event.” He waved his hand dismissively, as if such an idea was no big deal at all. “It’s all sorted with the event company, and they’re happy to have you along, as long as you abide by a few ground rules and pleasantries, of course.”

“Ground rules and pleasantries? What kind of wild free-for-all orgy is this?!” Shane clutched his chest in mock indignation. “Honestly Adam, is nothing sacred anymore? They’re coming for the orgies now?!”

Adam laughed. “Like I said Shane, it’s a very professional organisation - all strictly above board I’m afraid, sorry to disappoint”. He smiled hopefully. “So you’re in?”

“Eh, why not” Shane shrugged. “Could be fun, eh Bergara? Broadening the horizons with ya best bud?” He nudged Ryan, who felt his body tense and a hot tingling sensation slowly creep up his neck. He looked down at his hands resting in his lap, unable to meet Shane’s or Adam’s gaze, and said nothing. Not getting the response he’d expected, Shane tried again, but with a softer tone.

“Ryan?”

 _Stay calm, be cool_ , the voice in Ryan’s head told him. Right, yes. Ryan could do this. He could be cool like Shane – in fact he was cooler. Very cool. _Reason with Adam, reason with Shane_ , the voice spoke again. Yep, he could totally do this. He could reason with his colleagues like a calm, normal, functioning adult. After all, were Adam and Shane not totally reasonable, normal, functioning adults themselves?

Oh.

 _Be cool, be cool, be coo_....

“An orgy?! A fucking orgy, Adam?! What the fuck, dude!”

Okay, so maybe it hadn’t come out as calm or as reasonable as Ryan had hoped, but at least it seemed to get the message across - to Adam at least, who squirmed awkwardly in his chair and looked uncomfortable. Shane, on the other hand, barely reacted, except for a twitch of his lips. Ryan noticed it and scowled at him, irritated by how unfazed the other man seemed. So much for being in agreement with fucking Shane Madej, he thought.

Aiming to regain his composure, Ryan took a deep breath and tried again. “Look, I’m sorry, I don’t want be to a jerk right now but I’m just not onboard with this, it’s really not my thing. I’d be hopeless and - and to be honest, there’s no way I’m gonna grab up on a load of strangers just for YouTube views! I’ve got integrity”.

He said this in what he hoped was a firm and final way, but Adam only blinked at him, and Shane snickered.

“Never stopped you grabbing at me, Bergara, when we’re filming Unsolved.” Ryan glared at him.

“Shut up Shane, that’s not the same thing and you know it. And anyway, that’s just a natural human response to situations of extreme terror. I’d grab at anything, or anyone, if I had the good fortune of having other people nearby, but unfortunately it’s only ever you, so - ”.

Shane only winked at him and Ryan felt himself flush, with irritation and with - well with something else he didn’t want to think about right now. All this talk of orgies was messing with his head. He had to put a stop to this.

“Ryan I hear your frustrations and I understand them,” Adam was speaking again, “but you’ve misunderstood me. No-one is asking you to do anything you don’t feel comfortable doing - in fact we’re not asking you to do anything at all. You’re not expected to participate in the event, but merely spectate - a fly on the wall, if you will. Think of it like a nature documentary - you don’t try to provoke or change the course of nature, you’re simply there to observe the animals”.

“One, that’s a pretty weird analogy, dude. And two - what happens then? We turn up to watch and we’re welcomed with open arms? ‘Oh good, the boys are here, Buzzfeed’s resident peeping toms!’” Ryan looked exasperated. “Its not going to work, it’s crazy!”

“Plenty of people go to sex parties just to watch, Ryan, haven’t you ever heard of voyeurism?” Shane smirked at him, making Ryan flush even harder.

“I can’t believe you’re going along with this, Shane! You said it didn’t even make sense!”

Shane shrugged again. “Adam’s explained. I don’t see what you’re getting so het up about. It’s not really any different to any of the other assignments we normally do.”

“Not any different?!” Ryan spluttered. “Shane, we’re demon hunters, not deviants!”

“‘Deviants’? Really, Ryan?” Shane looked at him reproachfully. “C’mon, man. Didn’t think you were so close-minded”.

Adam was also shaking his head and Ryan felt knocked off his guard. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he muttered, looking back down at his hands again. “I just – it’s…it’s just not what I’m used to,” he finished lamely.

Adam was trying that charming smile again. “Think of it as an extension into the ghoul boys’s exploration of the unknown. It’ll be fun, you might even enjoy it, Ryan! Ah, I mean…” Adam stumbled, catching Ryan’s furious stare. He moderated his tone. “Look, I’m gonna lay it out on the table with you guys here. It’s been a tough couple of weeks for us. Views are down and the pressure to make edgy, original content is off the scale. Our competitors are churning out some seriously provocative stuff and we’ve gotta keep up with them as best as we can. Everyone knows that videos about sex or drugs get loads of views and the bosses are breathing down my neck. And you two are our hottest pair right now! I mean..uhh..not in like a sex way, haha, sorry poor choice of words, there,” he grinned, “but people love you! And I know they’d love to see you in a video like this.” He sat back, sensing a possible victory. “Really – no sex, no funny business, just relaying your experiences to the camera in an amusing way and offering our viewers an informative, educational insight into a world they might have misunderstandings about. No big deal. It’ll be a hit, I promise. So, I’ll ask again – are you in?”

 _Shit_ , Ryan thought. How could he say no after that? Adam had made it seem as if the whole future of the company rested on their shoulders and, although he was sure that he was hamming it up to flatter them, maybe there was a grain of truth in it. Ryan knew that he and Shane had acquired a loyal fanbase who loved their dynamic and would watch anything with them in it. He was really proud of Unsolved and the work they had created together and he was grateful to Buzzfeed for giving them the platform to do so. He loved his job. Plus, he had to admit, it did sound like an interesting premise, one that he knew would be popular. And maybe it wouldn’t be all bad…

“Yeah, come on Ryan. Who are you to deny the people an informative, educational experience, huh?” Shane was chiming in now and Ryan cringed internally.

There was another reason that Ryan’s instant reaction had been to reject this proposal. He wasn’t really close-minded, in fact quite the opposite. Sure, he’d never been to a sex party, but he’d thought about it before, and he would never judge anyone that wanted to go to one. But there was a bigger obstacle – a six foot four, sarcastic, gurning, bespectacled, goonish obstacle. He looked across to the man on his left, who was pulling faces at him and waiting for his response.

Ryan Bergara was in love with Shane Madej, and he had been for some time. And whilst he was pretty sure his best friend didn’t feel the same way - and he was at peace with that - he wasn’t sure up close and personal at a sex party was the best place to carry on hiding his unrequited feelings of love and lust. Ryan knew he could trust himself not to say anything at work, or on set, or even at a bar after a few drinks – but at a sex party? Just the thought of experiencing something like that with Shane, even in an 'strictly observational capacity', excited him in a way he was finding it hard to control. He couldn’t jeopardise his and Shane’s friendship, it was the most important thing that he had going on in his life right now. Add to that, they were both work colleagues. And they had loads mutual friends. And went to the same gym. And they were buddies with each other's families and ex-girlfriends, for god's sake! It was just too risky, too much at stake.

But Shane was speaking again. “It will be alright buddy, we’ll be in it together. It’ll be far less terrifying than any of the spooooooky houses we’ve visited. Nothing or no-one will make you uncomfortable, I won’t let it happen. I’ll fight them off with their own whips and chains.” He was joking now but Ryan knew that deep down, Shane meant it and he felt an actual ache in his chest. Shane could tell him to lick every inch of the Sallie House and he’d do it, because he knew that his best friend would keep him safe. He was the one person that he could rely on and he desperately wanted to be that person for Shane in return. And if Shane wanted to do Adam’s stupid idea, how could he refuse him? Not without seeming weird and not without letting Shane down.

Ryan began to rationalise the situation internally. They’d been in intense situations before, they’d shared beds and it had always been fine, he hadn’t yet torpedoed their friendship with his big, dumb feelings. Plus, orgies probably really weren’t his thing (he hoped) so he probably wouldn’t even get aroused. And Shane…Ryan paused momentarily. _Oh god, Shane…_ Nope he wasn’t going to let himself think like that. Shane was….Shane. _He’ll probably find the whole thing amusing, anyway,_  Ryan thought with a touch of sadness. The show would be fine. The show would be a hit.

What was the worst that could happen?

“Okay,” he said, “I’m in”. He gave a small smile, for what felt like the first time today.

“Great!” Adam was ecstatic. “Excellent news, I’m so glad to have you two on board. I’ll send you the details and sort out the crew – this is going to be such an exciting show!”

“Oh, you have no idea,” Shane murmured in a low voice, winking again at Ryan as they left Adam behind.

 _Oh fuck. Holy shit_. Ryan flushed all the shades of the rainbow. _Be cool, be cool, be cool_ …


	2. Two Days 'Til The Big O

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you soon much for all your lovely comments and kudos, this is such a wonderfully encouraging fanbase! Hope you enjoy this next instalment!

The shoot was set for a week on Friday. They didn’t really speak too much about it in the days preceding, but it was always on Ryan’s mind. Mostly, his thoughts were of dread and horror. He imagined doing something stupid, like tripping over a humping throuple or getting a super inappropriate boner and everyone laughing at him. But then he imagined not being unable to get a boner and he wasn’t sure that was much better. What if people tried to get him involved in their weird kinky games? What if he _wanted_ to get involved in the kinky games and he couldn’t? Would people think he was less of a man? _Would Shane think that?_

But sometimes, in the moments when Ryan’s anxiety-prone mind quieted down, usually first thing in the morning or as he drifted to sleep, the thoughts happened upon him in a good way. He pictured getting lost in a dark room and a hand slipping into his and leading him away. He felt a warm, familiar arm snake around his shoulders and a gentle kiss pressed to the crown of his head. He heard the moans and awkward noise of bodies slapping together muffled, drowned out by the sounds of his own hitching breath and the pulse of two beating hearts, followed by whispers, promises, unspoken things now said aloud.

One morning, when Ryan dragged himself into the shower, half asleep after a late night in the office, the good thoughts came on him so strongly, they almost felt real. They were running through a series of rooms together – him and Shane – and they were laughing, wheezing. Then Shane grabbed his arm and pulled Ryan into a small private room and he was undressing him. _What if people see_ , dream Ryan whispered as Shane’s fingers trailed down his chest and into Ryan’s jeans. _I want them to see_ , dream Shane murmured back. Shane was now kissing him possessively, and Ryan felt a hand grip around his cock, the warm pressure of a slick fist tightening, pulling, getting faster and faster and then –

Ryan hadn’t even realised he’d been masturbating until that hot searing sensation took over and he felt cum splash onto his fingers. He opened his eyes. His windowless bathroom looked achingly white and sparse in the glare of the artificial lights and he felt groggy and ashamed. He washed his hands in the jets of water and put his head under too. This was going to be a long fucking day.

When he got to work, he tried to avoid Shane, but it wasn’t easy. His best friend didn’t say anything - didn’t ask why Ryan wouldn’t look him in the eye - but he did leave Ryan a cup of coffee on Ryan’s desk and a protein bar. Stuck to the computer was an accompanying yellow post-it:

 

_Two Days‘Til The Big O! Gotta Keep Up Your Strength_! ☺

 

_Fuck_. Ryan wasn’t sure if it was adorable or terrifying. Two days and counting. It would be over soon, he reassured himself, it would be over.

Or would it have just begun?

***

The night before, Ryan called Shane in a panic. He’d been agonizing for hours, but pride had kept him from picking up the phone. His apartment was also now a total mess – shoes and clothes and coffee mugs everywhere. But desperate times were calling for desperate measures and Ryan had exhausted all his other options. If no-one else had the answers he needed, maybe Shane Madej would.

Sinking back into a chair, Ryan called Shane’s number. He felt his heart beat a little quicker with each beep of the dialtone. On the sixth ring, Shane picked up.

“...Ryan?”

“Hey.”

Ryan could hear music and voices in the background. He guessed Shane was out somewhere with friends and he suddenly felt embarrassed to be home alone and calling out the blue. He paused and couldn’t find the words he’d wanted to say, feeling tongue tied and shy and frustrated to high hell to be acting like a damn teenager. It was Shane that eventually broke the silence.

“Uh, everything okay there, Ry? You doing good?”

Like so many times before, Shane’s voice brought Ryan out of his anxious moment. He could just picture Shane’s concerned expression at the other end of the phone. Ryan had seen it plenty of times when he'd freaked out shooting Unsolved on location - the way that Shane tilted his head, scrunched up his brow, and slightly parted his lips, as if to make a little ‘huh’ sound. _Wonder what it’s like to kiss those lips_ , Ryan’s brain unhelpfully supplied. Christ, shut up, brain!

“Mm, yeah man, doing good! I’m just calling cos I’ve got a kind of weird question I need your help with.”

Shane laughed. “All your questions are weird. But consider my interest piqued...”

“Your interest is piqued, huh? What is this, a nineteenth-century novel? Is time travel a thing now, have we gone back in time?”

“Don’t un-pique my piqued interest Ryan. Are you gonna ask me your weird question or not?” Ryan smiled. He always enjoyed their back and forth, and he felt a sudden longing to trade quips in person. He wondered again where Shane was, if he was nearby.

“So this is a bit awkward but, um...” Ryan took a deep breath, before blurting out his question, “so, um, _whatshouldIweartomorrow_?”

“What?”

“Ha, sorry, that came out too fast. What – what should I wear. Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

If Shane hadn’t understood the first time, now he was acting deliberately obtuse. Ryan huffed impatiently. “You know, Shane.”

“Know what?”

“Don’t be a dick - what should I wear…to the sex party.” He hissed the last bit, which was silly, because he was by himself, but it felt somehow more ridiculous to say it out loud.

“Sorry I can’t hear you, it’s very noisy here, what did you say?”

“Shane, this is the oldest trick in the book…”

“Huh? What’s that you say?”

“Holy fuck, dude, I swear to God…”

“Huh?! Come again? I can’t hear you, Ryan, really I can’t!”

“Oh for fucks…THE SEX PARTY, SHANE. The sex party. There I said it. What should I wear to the sex party, you corny fucking dumbass?” Ryan rolled his eyes, feeling the same kind of fond exasperation usually reserved for the Hotdaga. “Honestly, this is why I didn’t want to call you - you’re my last resort!”

“I’m your last resort?! Well hey now, Ryan, that stings.”

Ryan smiled at Shane fake put-out tone. “Yeah well, Google was useless, Zack and Keith couldn’t help me, and Eugene - well Eugene’s advice was a little flamboyant for my taste, let’s just put it like that.” He sighed. “You’re my only hope, big guy.”

“Did Eugene tell you to wear latex?”

“Latex and lace, to be exact,” Ryan shuddered audibly. He heard Shane roar with laughter down the phone, which made him laugh too, and they had to wait a few moments until the wheezing subsided.

“But seriously Shane, what do I wear?” Ryan froze in his seat, a sudden horrifying thought springing to mind. “I mean, people will be wearing clothes…won’t they?”

“Yes Ryan, people will be wearing clothes” Shane replied, but not unkindly. “Look, it’s a party, right? So wear something smart, something relaxed, but still nice. Like you would for a first date. It’s kind of a similar thing, if you think about it. And you wouldn’t be worried like this if it was just a first date.”

“I guess so.” Ryan hadn’t thought of it like that. His mind had gone into overdrive earlier and he’d been plagued with visions of leather chaps, and gimp masks, and Eugene’s goddamn latex and lace. But Shane, in his typical calm Shane-like manner, made Ryan’s fears dissipate. _Your knight in shining armor_ , his unhelpful brain chimed in again, _and not for the first time, either_. Shut up brai…ah what was the use, it was undeniable. Ryan had it bad.

“It is kinda different to a regular date though, dude.”

“Sure it is, but if anything it’ll be easier,” Shane replied. “I’ll be there for one thing. Plus, there’ll be no chance of catfishing, no awkward small talk, no clumsy kisses, no need to laugh at your date’s unfunny jokes, no ‘shall we split the bill’ moment…”

“Still going have to pretend to laugh at your unfunny jokes, though”

“Haterz gonna hate”. Shane was laughing again and Ryan felt inexplicably happy. “Really, Ryan it’s going to be fine – don’t worry. It’s just Buzzfeed Unsolved at the sex party, the ghoul boys on tour – a spooky sexual adventure!”

“God, please don’t call it that!!”

“The fans will love it, trust me! Look Ry, I’ve got to go now, but you can text me later if you’re still worried.”

“Of course, yeah sorry for taking up your night, man.” Ryan tried to hide his disappointment. “It’s okay, I think – I think I’ll be fine now. Thanks Shane,” he croaked out, trying to bite back the overwhelming impulse to tell Shane that he was wonderful and handsome and that really, he loved his stupid, unfunny jokes.

“You’re welcome, bud, anytime.”

“Okay, well…bye, I guess.”

“Ryan?”

“Yeah?”

“Wear your dark blue shirt. It looks good on you.”

“Um…okay, right! Uh, thanks Shane.”

“See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Oh hang on, wait, wait – what are you going to wear?”

“Nothing but a smile, baby”.

Shane hung up. _Holy shit_. Ryan dropped his phone in his lap and brought his hands to his face. Well, fuck. He’d got the answers he’d wanted, but not necessarily the ones he’d been expecting.

That night he didn’t have the bad dreams or the good thoughts, but he slept very well. He woke up the next morning to a text from Shane:

_Today’s the big day. Are you ready?_

Ryan sighed. Today was the big day and he guess he had to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> orgies coming soon (literally...wayooo) I promise...


	3. This Ain't My First Rodeo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the wait (does anyone even remember this fic anymore??) but deadlines and personal life have been kicking my ass. I hope this longer chapter makes up for wait! 
> 
> I know I promised orgies soon, but I didn't want to rush anything. I'm a sucker for a bit of unrequited angst and I wanted to build up the tension, so this is going to be a longer fic than first planned.
> 
> Warning - its unbeta'd and its dialogue heavy. Thanks again for all the kudos and kind comments so far - this community is the best <3

The day began at Buzzfeed, so they could film the ‘before’ interview segment of the video in the studio. Getting ready for a day at the office normally took Ryan Bergara all of about ten minutes. This had been particularly true over the last few weeks. Totally swamped at work now that Unsolved had really taken off, demands on Ryan’s time were high and his appearance had necessarily taken a backseat. That’s not to say that Ryan had let himself go, not by any means. He still liked to work out and keep fit, but he’d fallen into the habit of wearing old hoodies and scruffy jeans to the office and he’d stopped putting pomade into his hair. The late night deadlines and early morning meetings had also begun to take their toll. The fans began to notice the dark bags under Ryan’s eyes and the greyish tinge to his complexion and left concerned comments on his videos.

_Is Ryan okay? He looks exhausted! Does anyone know what’s happened?_

_I think Ryan has seen too many ghosts, he’s pale AF right now. XD_

_Worried about Ryan, he doesn’t look like his normal self in recent videos._

_Buzzfeed! Please stop working Ryan to death, he seems stressed out, him and Shane are the only decent thing you’ve got going on!!!_

_Ryan looks like shit here, haha sorry Ryan! Shane is looking more and more like a snacc tho…_

Ryan had bristled reading that last comment, but he had to admit it was true. Shane really was looking “more and more like a snacc”, as the Internet put it, in the ghoulboys’ latest videos. Ryan didn’t know if it was his coworker’s cool new glasses or recent edgier style (Ryan had almost pulled a Mary Reeser and combusted on the spot when Shane had turned up for an Unsolved Q&A in a new striped tee and _that_ black beanie), or whether it was just that his friend had found his stride with the show, but Shane was oozing confidence and charisma in the latest episodes and by god, it was sexy. Editing the footage for the Unsolved series had started to take twice as long, as Ryan found himself constantly distracted by his smart, handsome co-presenter and as a consequence, seemed always to be fighting off a hard-on. He found Shane attractive no matter what he was wearing, but this recent look? It was downright unfair.

Regarding Ryan’s own appearance, however, today was different. Today was D-Day – it was _the day_. “Time for the big O”, as Shane had so eloquently put it. And Ryan was damned if he was turning up looking like a frat zombie for this particular shoot. He wanted to look good. _To look good for Shane_ , his brain supplied and Ryan sighed internally. At this point, he couldn’t deny it to himself any longer. He wanted to look good for Shane. And secretly, deep down, in his heart of hearts, he hoped that Shane might want to see more.

Drying off after a hot shower, Ryan pulled on a pair of tight black jeans that he knew made his ass look pert, followed by the dark blue shirt that Shane had picked out, and his nicest pair of shoes, reserved, usually, for weddings and hot dates and other assorted special occasions. But today was a special occasion, he rationalised with himself, or at least, it was an unusual one. He’d trimmed, shaved, and plucked in the shower and now, channelling his inner Eugene, he styled his hair high and swept back off of his face. When he looked at himself in the mirror, he felt a little rush of excitement. He looked pretty good and he felt better. He had no idea what was going to happen today, and whilst previously that had put him on edge, now he felt confident – he felt alive! He could take on anyone or anything. Everything was going to be alright.

This new found confidence crumbled, however, by the time he reached the Buzzfeed offices. There were so many videos being prepared and filmed at once at Buzzfeed, it was generally pretty hard to keep up with what was going on, but somehow everyone knew about the ‘Orgy’ shoot. Walking past his coworkers’ desks, he heard whispers and whoops. Sara Rubin winked at him. Ryan scowled back and felt flustered. He picked up his pace and practically ran to the studio they were filming in. Throwing his bag to the floor and slamming the door behind him, he must have looked have looked panicked and the crew gave him bemused looks.

“Hey Ryan!” Adam was walking towards him. “Good to see you, man, what’s with the big hurry? You’re not late, we haven’t even finished setting up and…”

Ryan had stopped listening. Instead, all his attention was drawn to the centre of the room where the space had been set up for the interview. Leaning casually against the desk, with long elegant limbs stretched out and one hand running through his hair, was Shane Madej looking…well, just incredible. He was wearing dark grey jeans and a crisp white shirt with no collar. He’d put his contact lenses in, rather than his glasses (although damn, Ryan liked Shane’s specs), and he had just the right amount of stubble to still look smart and presentable for a shoot, but a little more dangerous, a little more rough. _A little more like someone who’d hold you down and mark you whilst they_ ….woah, nope, not going there right now brain, Ryan thought, feeling the blood rushing toward his crotch. Jesus, they hadn’t even started yet. Reign it in, Ryan.

“…so if that’s okay with you, Ryan, we’ll just go straight ahead and kick this shoot off, shall we?”

Ryan blinked. “Uh, right, sorry, what?”

Adam looked at him, confused. “Oh I thought you’d be okay, Shane’s agreed and I just assumed… sorry, uhh, so which part of what I just said is it that you disagree with?”

_Fuck_. Ryan hadn’t heard a word of what Adam had said. And what was he supposed to say – “sorry, I was too busy ogling Shane Madej, can you repeat that one more time?” No way. Whatever it was, if Shane had agreed, he was sure it’d be fine.

“No, no, don’t worry Adam, my fault, just crossed wires. I’m totally onboard with everything.”

“Really? Great! Well I think we are almost ready here, so if you want to go and take your place at the desk, let’s get started!”

Ryan made his way over to the set. He felt the heat of someone’s eyes trained on his movements and looked up to see Shane watching him. His steps faltered slightly, but he gave himself a mental shake. This was his best friend, for god’s sake.

“Hey buddy,” he smiled at his taller counterpart.

“Nice shirt,” Shane commented, with a hint of smirk playing on his lips. Ryan opened his mouth to snap back with a smart quip, but decided he didn’t want to give Shane the satisfaction.

“Thanks man,” he grinned back, deliberately earnest, “I’d actually forgotten I even owned this”.

“I hadn’t,” Shane said casually and Ryan baulked. His mind went blank and he couldn’t think of anything to say. He blinked at Shane and swallowed. Shane just carried on looking at him, quietly but with an intensity that was setting Ryan’s skin on fire.

“Places people!” Adam was shouting and Ryan felt thankful for the interruption. He gave Shane a nod and then took his place at the desk.

“Let’s get this orgy a’rockin’, baby,” Shane murmured to Ryan under his breath, slipping into the seat next to him and Ryan couldn’t help but wheeze.

“Jesus. Sometimes, I wonder how you ever manage to get laid,” Ryan teased back.

“Oh I have my means,” Shane purred. Ryan felt his excitement rising, but before he could respond, Adam was calling out to them again.

“Ready boys? So let’s begin with some introductions and what we’re all doing here today, and then crack on with the questions. Right – cameras on? Action!”

***

“Hello! I’m Ryan and that’s my buddy Shane and today…well today, I don’t know how this has happened or why we’ve agreed to it, but we are going to an orgy -”

“And as the title suggests, we won’t be having sex!! No way, no ma’am, no thank you very much!”

“Uh, right, yeah, what Shane said. It’s a little bit of a confusing concept, I guess, but apparently it’s what the fan’s want…so thank you guys, thanks for this one. You know I wanted to spend my evening relaxing, kicking back, watching a few good movies with some kernels, but now, now I’ve gotta go to an organised orgy with this lunatic.”

“I think you’ll find Ryan that the technical term is sex party. We are going to an organised sex party. And I should just interject here actually, that these events are for over 21s only, they are professional, they are safe, and you should never attend one of these or take someone there without explicit consent.”

“Exactly. I can confirm that we are both consenting adults, who have agreed to do this. I mean I was dubious at first, but I’ve gotta say, now that we’re signed up and squared off, I’m a little intrigued.”

“You are?”

“I am. This is my first time going to this kind of thing and I have no idea what to expect – which scares the hell out of me – but you know, as founder of the ghouligans I feel like I’ve had my fair share of dalliances with the unknown and I always come out on top.”

“Mmhmm,” Shane smirked at Ryan and raised one eyebrow, as if he didn’t believe him. Suddenly Ryan wasn’t sure what kind of topping they were talking about and he felt instantly embarrassed, like he’d given away a secret. He tried to carry on with bravado, but his fluster got the better of him.

“Haha – uh, I mean – not all the time, but yeah, right…ahhh…so…um…”

“CUT!” Adam yelled from behind the camera tripod. “Ryan, you were doing great, but try not to get too tongue-tied. Actually, thinking about it, now might be a good moment to leave intros and switch to questions. Ryan, let’s start with you. Could you give us your list of kinks and fantasies please. Ready, camera one? Rolling!”

Ryan stared at him. “My what?”

“Cut! Ryan. Kinks! Kinks and sexual fantasies, please.” Adam replied impatiently, looking at the boys through the lens of one of the cameras.

“I’m - ” Ryan looked appalled. “I’m not putting my list of sexual fantasies out on the internet, Adam! What the hell, man!”

Adam looked confused. “But you just – Ryan, you agreed to this like five minutes ago! Was it not clear when we were speaking?”

“Maybe Ryan was distracted by something,” Shane chipped in, nudging his friend and Ryan shot him a furious glare in return.

“No, it was, I just – I just…” _I just don’t want to admit my deepest, darkest kinks and fantasies in front of the man they all hinge upon_ , his brain finished for him. He took a surreptitious glance at the man in question, seated next to him with an open expression as he waited, along with Adam and the rest of the crew, for an answer. But the real answer wasn’t one that Ryan was prepared to give.

“Sorry Adam, I did misunderstand, but it’s okay, I can come up with something. Nothing too personal though,” he added quickly, and Adam nodded in an understanding way.

“Whenever you’re ready, Ryan. Camera one – rolling!”

_Fuck_. _Okay, let’s try and navigate out of this one,_ Ryan thought to himself. “Uhhh…so I’d say in general that I’m a bit of an adventurous guy, I’m – I’m not totally vanilla, you know, I like…sex toys…and stuff. I've experimented.”

“Oh really?” Shane cocked his head and leant in all little closer towards Ryan. “What kind of thing?”

“Ahhh…you know…” Ryan fished about, his voice a little unsteady. “I’ll try anything really. I-I like cock rings, and plugs. I’ve always been intrigued by bondage. Maybe…different kinds of sensory play?” The uncertainty made his voice quiver. Shane’s eyes seemed to light up and Ryan couldn’t tell if it was with humour or with something else. He noticed how close Shane was leaning in right now, but he tried not to think about it. Probably just a bit.

“Interesting. So do you like to be the one charge or are you looking for someone to tie you up and take control?” There was something in the way that Shane put it that felt different. Like he wasn’t just asking, but he wanted to - _needed to_ – know. It made Ryan shiver. Throughout the shoot, he’d been looking anywhere or at anything other than his co-presenter, but now he dared to meet Shane’s gaze. He flicked his eyes up and felt taken aback by the heat and the intensity that was directed towards him. Shane was always kind of goofy and he tended to approach most things with an air of sarcasm and mischief, but right now he seemed dark and predatory, like he was working out the best way to take Ryan apart, piece by piece.

“Um…”

“I bet you’re tired, right, Ryan, and you just want someone to take you over and tell what you to do, huh? You want to feel special, right? You want to be wanted. You need it. You’re practically begging for it.” Shane was leaning in even closer. Ryan swallowed, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Feeling himself drawn by invisible string tied somewhere close to his sternum, he leaned in too, so that whole bodies were turned to face each other, knees brushed together, and breath ghosted across each other’s skin. For a moment Ryan forgot he was on camera.

“Shane, I – I…”

“CUT!!!” Adam’s foghorn cut through the atmosphere and Ryan came back down to earth with a bump. He immediately straightened up his position and pulled away from Shane, who also relaxed his posture and sat back in his chair with an unreadable expression on his face.

“Shane, you’re asking Ryan way too many questions, this isn’t Oprah. And stop winding him up – I know the fan’s love it when you make fun of Ryan, but this is sensitive stuff, we’re not talking ghosties and ghoulies now. He’s clearly uncomfortable, don’t take the joke too far. It time we hear from you now, anyway,” Adam scolded and Ryan felt his face redden with humiliation. Oh god, Shane had just been messing with him? It was all a joke? He felt like such an idiot, for a moment he’d really hoped – he’d even believed – that Shane might be serious. He looked over to his friend, trying to find some semblance of sincerity or indignation or even outrage in his expression, but it was blank.

Ryan had never been a tall guy, but in that crushing moment, he felt barely two foot off the ground.

“Whatever you say Adam,” Shane sighed and gave an apologetic shrug. Everyone resumed their positions, and the cameras started rolling again. “So if we’re talking sexual fantasies, I guess you’d say I was dominant. I like edging, teasing, and denial. I like the person I’m with to know how much I desire them, but I also like them to know that they’re mine. I like to feel their unwavering devotion, you know?” Although the content was pretty explicit, Shane was speaking in a matter-of-fact manner, projecting his usual confident, rational camera persona. Ryan sat silently beside him, trying to keep his own demeanour neutral, even though he was breaking inside. To hear Shane talk this way about himself was everything Ryan had ever wanted to hear and now it was torture.

“I had an experimental few years at college and so I’ve gotta come clean with you good people – this ain’t my first rodeo,” Shane grinned, “and by rodeo, I mean sex party, obviously. But this one feels different, I’ve got a good feeling.”

“Yeah?” Ryan tried his best to sound unenthusiastic and disinterested, but Shane knew him better than that.

“Yeah, it’s going to be special,” there was a tangible warmth in Shane’s voice and if Ryan had dared to look over toward him, he would have seen his friend shoot him a smile. “I mean, uhh, special in the sense that this is one of the top sex parties in LA, baby! I’ve been promised celebrities, and politicians, and billionaires. We didn’t get that back in my day!”

“Didn’t know sex parties were a thing back in the Jurassic age” Ryan quipped half-heartedly, trying to force their usual on-screen banter, but it felt kind of hollow. Whether Shane noticed or not, he took the bait.

“Nothing else to do back then, sonny, no TVs, no Netflix, just huntin’, eatin’, and boning all day long.”

Even Ryan had to wheeze a little at that one. Adam started signalling at them to wrap it up. _About time_. Putting his game face on, Ryan brought things together with his characteristic on-screen charm.

“You heard it here first, people – Shane Madej confirms our ancestors were just huntin’, eatin’ and boning. Well tonight, we aren’t going to be doing any of that, but we will be attending an orgy and filming some of our reactions.”

“Giving you guys the juicy scoop!”

“Yeah, right. I mean, I’m ready for my mind to be blown by all the shenanigans. For Shane here, it sounds like it will be old news – but there you go. A rookie and an old-timer, hitting up the sex party for strictly journalistic reasons.”

“All in the name of education, my friend. Lets do this!”

“CUT! Thank you guys, that’s great. I’m not sure we’ll be able to use all of it,” Adam raised an eyebrow to one of the camera assistants, who snickered back at him, “but there’s definitely some quality material there! So we can't be there tonight – the crew would ruin the ambiance the event organisers said – but they have sorted us out a private room where we will set up the cameras before you arrive. So when you want to film a reaction segment or you need some time out, you can go there. Please do remember to get some good footage – and make sure its footage we can use!!”

“Don’t worry Adam, we know we’re making a Buzzfeed video, not a porno,” Ryan replied offhandedly, but the crew were packing up and Adam was practically out of the door.

Ryan turned back to Shane, who was still sitting back in his chair, looking at Ryan with a strange, soft, expression.

“Ryan, listen, about what Adam said…” But Ryan didn’t want to hear it.

“Right, well I’ve got some stuff to do back at my desk before we head over to the shoot later, so I better get going. What time are meeting?”

“We’re meant to be meeting the event organiser Claire at 7.30, but Ryan, I - ”

“Okay sounds good,” Ryan flapped his hand dismissively. “I've gotta rush. But do you want to meet for a drink beforehand? I think I’m gonna need it to get through this ordeal.” Shane looked a little crestfallen, and Ryan felt a stab of disloyalty. But his heart was still smarting and he stayed firm.

“Uh, yeah, sure. I guess I’ll need it too,” Shane replied, "But Ryan...I didn't mean it, I -"

“Exactly. See you later, then.”

And before Shane Madej had a chance to say anything else that could damage him, Ryan left the room.


	4. Masked Intentions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so does anyone even remember this anymore? I've been away for so long, but this story has kept rattling in my brain and I've got the next few instalments planned (which, alongside this long update, hope makes up for my absence!) As always, comments, kudos, and wheezes appreciated. Hope y'all are doing well.

They met at a bar that afternoon before filming. Liquid courage, Ryan had called it. “Or a surefire way to a couple o’ whiskey dicks,” Shane had quipped back and Ryan knew he was totally screwed.

He’d turned up to the bar with every intention of being cold, distant, but professional, after the stunt Shane that had pulled this morning. Yet on seeing his lanky friend, with that big goofy grin and tentative, hopeful look in his eyes, Ryan knew he couldnt stay angry for long. Shane had fucked up and he knew it. Not that Shane himself said as such -and to Ryan’s great relief he also didn’t try to revisit their half-started conversations of the morning - but the way Shane was treating him was gentler somehow. He was still Shane, sarcastic and playful, but he also seemed a little more unsure of himself this afternoon. He’d make a joke and then flick his eyes immediately in Ryan’s direction to check that everything was okay, that Ryan wasn’t offended. It was endearing, kind of. If Ryan wasn’t still mad from the morning. Which he was. Sorta. Ish.

Still, despite the gradual thaw between them, they drank in silence for the most part. The latest album from The National played in the background. Shane sipped his drink and tapped long, slender fingers against his own forearm in time to the music, whilst Ryan’s knees thrummed up and down under the table with nervous energy. Half of Ryan longed for time to stand still - so that he would never have to leave the bar, never leave Shane, never leave the peace and safety of these shared, silent moments. But the other half...well, he could kid himself that the other half just wanted to get things over and done with. But there was also an unavoidable sense of excitement, a persistent kind of intrigue. The pleasure and uncertainty of what was yet to come.

They finished their drinks and Shane signalled to the wall clock in the bar. “We should get going bud, we’ve got to meet the organiser soon.” Ryan nodded and both men swilled the last few lukewarm dregs of alcohol from their glasses. Ryan took the lead, and though he was pretty certain it was just his fevered brain, he seemed to feel Shane’s dark gaze burning intently into his back as he walked out of the bar. They continued down the road together and maintained the silence a little while longer, until Ryan felt the need to ask a question that had been bothering him ever since the morning.

“So...not your first rodeo, huh, Madej? Care to elaborate on that?” Shane turned to look at him and, caught under Shane’s thoughtful gaze, Ryan started to immediately backtrack.

“Uh, I mean, not in like a pervy way, I - I don’t really care about what you get up to in your sex life, or whatever, just, you know, if...” Ryan stuttered awkwardly, unable to meet Shane’s eyes, but painfully aware that his friend was still silently, patiently, looking at him. “...if you’ve been to one of these things before, I think I should know. For the video” Ryan finished lamely.

A few seconds passed, that to Ryan, felt like an excruciating age, before Shane stopped looking at him and, turning his gaze ahead, said simply, “Sure. What do you want to know?”

“Well, I suppose when and how often and what was it like? Did you go with girlfriends or...partners,” Ryan faltered a little, “and do...do you still go?”

“You know, for someone who says they don’t care about my sex life you sure ask a lot of intimate questions, Bergara.” Shane raised an eyebrow but his tone was teasing, rather than offended. Ryan blushed furiously but, wanting desperately to hear the answers, didn’t retract his questions.

“It was back in college, I went a few times, and an ex-girlfriend was the one who introduced me to it. It was fun. It was a world she was pretty involved in, but I only went every now and then, to please her.” It was always awkward to hear a crush speak about an ex, but Ryan tried to focus on his footsteps and keep his gaze ahead. Shane continued. “And no, I haven’t been to anything like this in a while. And I never went to anything as exclusive as this so I have no idea what this will be like,” he reached over and gave Ryan a very small, playful shove. “There’s no one-fits-all pattern for an orgy, Ryan, that’s kind of the point.”

He grinned and Ryan couldn’t help but smile back. The gentle shove has broken some of tension between them. It was the first time that Shane had touched him since that fucking weird interview this morning. It felt more normal, Ryan thought, to have the banter and bro-style physical contact. Shoves and high fives, Ryan could handle. But the way that Shane has moved in closer this morning, and brushed against his knee...that was a different matter. The gentle banter continued as they walked along to their next destination, swapping playful insults back and forth.

They were headed to a coffee shop where they would meet the organiser and she would take them on to the venue from there. “It’s professional stuff, guys,” Adam had told them proudly in an earlier meeting. “Invitation only. Location on a need-to-know basis. They don’t want any old creeps turning up you know.” “Except for the ghoul boys!” Shane had joked back, to which Ryan rolled his eyes and snorted, “speak for yourself, bonestilts.” Before Shane could respond back with a quip, Adam had diverted the conversation and handed them directions to The Black Cat coffee shop. “Claire will meet you here at 7.30. Don’t be late. She doesn’t sound like a lady who messes about.” He gave Shane a sort of _know-what-I-mean_  grin, but Shane, to his credit, just took the directions and said, “The Black Cat. I think I’ve been there before. Great latte, very smooth. Love their beans, they’re full of them,” which made Ryan burst into laughter. Like a man left out of a private joke, Adam had given them a weird look and tutted, before eventually leaving them to it.

It was 7.30 on the dot when Ryan and Shane arrived at The Black Cat’s door, a small but elegant coffee shop with leather sofas and tall oak bookshelves. The shop itself was closing up, with chairs upturned on tables and a barista mopping the floor, but in the corner, a woman sat alone on the only remaining table, with a book and a cappuccino. On seeing the boys enter, she stood up and extended her hand.

“Ryan, Shane, it’s good to meet you. I’m Claire.”

“It’s our pleasure, Claire,” Shane smiled warmly and shook her hand. “I’m Shane. Thank you for setting this up, we’re thrilled. Truly. It’s going to be one hell of an evening.”

Ryan’s eyebrows raised. Shane’s palpable enthusiasm was pretty off brand for the big guy. Shane was always professional and courteous, but never so... _keen_. And right now he was positively charming. Ryan’s eyes narrowed slightly as Claire held on to Shane’s hand just a little too long for his liking. Clearly she was feeling the charm too. Ryan extended his arm too, perhaps a bit too abruptly, in an attempt to break some of his own awkwardness.

“Hi Claire. Great to be here, like Shane said. Really something else. I’m Ryan, by the way” Claire, now noticing Ryan’s waiting hand, let go of Shane and took up his instead.

“Hello Ryan, no need to introduce yourself, I feel like I’ve met the pair of you before, having seen all of your shows.” Claire gestured for them to sit down. “I’m a big fan, I love your chemistry together. That’s why I couldn’t resist seeing you two come tonight.”

Ryan stared at her, open-mouthed and horrified, and even Shane’s usually serene face registered surprise, although not without a glitter or mischief. Claire laughed.

“Oh, sorry, not like that - poor choice of words I suppose, given the context! I meant I enjoy your on-screen banter, it flows so effortlessly.” She gave them a warm smile. “You’re both very likeable. When Adam got in touch about the possibility of Buzzfeed filming a show at one of our Adult evenings, I initially said no. But when he promised me that he could get you guys on board, well, that was a different story.”

_Fucking hell, Adam_ , Ryan cursed their absent co-worker internally, and not for the first time that day either.

“That’s kind of you to say Claire. I’m, uh, intrigued to see how the evening transpires.” Ryan cleared his throat and tried to force his best _I’m-totally-confident-and-in-control-here_ smile. “So what’s the plan?”

“Well before we head to the venue, I just want to go over some rules and conditions with you - all agreed with Adam and Buzzfeed HR, of course, but I do need to get you boys to sign off on them,” Claire dipped into her handbag and brought out a couple of contracts and biros. She smiled apologetically at them. “Sorry gentleman, this is the unsexy part of the sex party, I’m afraid.”

“Oh I don’t know about that,” Shane grinned, “look at the way Ryan Bergara is holding that pen, it’s making me weak at the knees!”

Ryan rolled his eyes. “Shut up Shane. Ignore him Claire, he’s just as much of an idiot off-camera as he is onscreen”.

“No problem, I understand. Although between you and me, I’m a pretty hardcore Shaniac.” She winked and Shane sat up in delight.

“A woman of great taste I see!” Shane leaned across the table and gave Claire a faux-smoulder. She giggled and Ryan swore he saw her blush.

_Oh for fucks sake_ , Ryan couldn’t help but scrunch his face into a frown. Today had already been a whirl of confusing events and emotions, now he had to cope with irrational feelings of jealousy too? Ryan had always flattered himself that he was self-confident enough not to succumb to possessive kinds of behaviour when it came to love. But dammit, Shane was such a flirt, it was hard not to feel a little miffed sometimes when he started paying attention to someone else. Especially when they were as pretty and intriguing as Claire.

“Hahahahaha, well I guess I can’t win them all,” Ryan‘s reply came out more rushed than he had planned. “1-0 to the Shaniacs. So, about these rules, then?” Claire looked a little taken aback at Ryan’s impatience, but then, flicking a quick glance over to Shane, seemed to reconcile his abrupt response. She nodded.

“Of course, lets get to business. I suppose I should begin by telling you a little more about the kind of events we run. Our adult parties are some of the most prestigious in the country. We run them in secret, high-end locations and maintain a strict invitation-only policy. We want the best for our members. We aim to create an electrically-charged, erotic environment where men, women, and couples can explore their fantasies in a daring and yet safe way. You’ve got to be open-minded, adventurous, fit, and sociable. And, in most cases, a little kinky...” Claire winked again at Shane, and Ryan felt his muscles flex. Claire continued.

“To ensure everyone’s maximum pleasure, we’ve put together a code of conduct. First, privacy. Our members privacy is of the upmost importance to us. You’ll have to leave your phones, wallets, and any personal recording equipment with me now, I’m afraid. I absolutely cannot let you photograph or record any of our members. But what we have done for the purposes of the Buzzfeed video is to designate a private room for you, which some of your cameramen came and set up earlier today with all the necessary equipment. This room is a short walk away from the main party and only you two will have the keycode to open the door. This will be the space where you can go to record your ‘during the party reactions’, as Adam put it, and also if you find the event to be overwhelming, the place where you can take some time out,” Claire seemed to be directing this last bit to Ryan, “our parties can be a little intense on your first time.” She smiled at him, but not unkindly.

“The other thing that we do to protect privacy - and to add a flair of mystery, too, I suppose - is that we insist that members wear masks when they are in the main ballroom. Masks may be removed in one of the many playrooms if you wish, but in the ballroom, we ask everyone to keep them on. Anticipating that you wouldn’t have brought your own masks, I took the liberty of purchasing some for you, that I thought would compliment the ghouligan’s style.” She dipped into the black handbag again and handed over two dark boxes to the boys.

When Claire first mentioned masks, Ryan had cringed internally. His mind immediately went into a minor panic and he had a disturbing vision of being bent over and fucked by someone wearing one of those creepy rubber horse masks. But on opening the box he was pleasantly surprised. There was no gaudy silicone here, but a beautifully crafted Venetian style mask, designed to cover his face from the lower part of his forehead to the tip of his nose. The mask was mostly black, but with white diamond shaped panels on its lower half, and adorned with gold swirling patterns. Looking at it, Ryan felt a little shiver run down his spine in anticipation.

“Claire, this is wonderful, you didn’t have to do this”, Shane was clearly pleased with his mask too. “Please, let Ryan and I pay for these, they must have been expensive.” Claire waved Shane’s offer away with her hand.

“Consider it a gift from a longtime fan. I hope you enjoy wearing them.”

“We certainly will,” Ryan said softly, “thank you Claire.”

“You’re welcome. Now if you’re happy with our privacy rules, our second major point on our code of conduct concerns consent. We maintain a firm ‘no means no’ policy’. If someone lets you know they aren’t interested in your attentions, you back off courteously and respectfully. Similarly, if, at any point, you feel uncomfortable and someone isn’t taking no for an answer, there are discreet call buttons by all of the doors. We don’t have the security team present in the rooms, so not to spoil the atmosphere for our guests, but they are close by, and pressing these buttons will alert them that you may need assistance. Understood?”

“Perfectly,” Shane replied and Ryan nodded in assent.

“Excellent. Well, gentleman, if you could just sign these forms for me to say that you’ve understood our code of conduct, then all that’s left for me to do, is to take you to the venue.” With the contracts signed, Claire stood up and led them boys out of the Black Cat, thanking the barista on the way out who gave them a cheery wave goodbye. Ryan couldn’t help but wonder if that barista knew where they were off to now, what the night had in store for them. He felt exposed, like all his secrets were tattooed across his skin.

Leaving the cafe, Claire led them to a dark car with tinted windows and motioned for them to get in.

“Let the party begin, eh Ryan?” Shane gave Ryan a gentle nudge and a goofy smile. Ryan nodded and gave a small smile back, but he was melting inside. It was party time.

***

When they pulled up to the venue, it hit Ryan, hard. It really was d-day. The big O. Holy shit.

He couldn’t really tell where they were, but the venue was huge, a large modern mansion with a long driveway. A valet took the car, and Claire led them to a side entrance. “Guests will start arriving soon,” she explained, “so I’ll show you to the recording room now”. She took them up a set of stairs and through a series of corridors. The lighting was dim and Ryan felt disoriented, almost giddy. They arrived at a dark door with a private sign and a numerical keypad”. “The temporary code is BUZZ - 2899” Claire said and let them in.

The tech guys had already set the room up, just as Claire had told them. Two cameras, their sound equipment, lights, and an ornate, high-backed velvet couch in deep wine red.

“The couch is ours,” Claire said, as if reading Ryan’s mind, “we moved it in here for your set up from one of our playrooms.”

“Great, good idea, thanks.” Ryan tried to stop his brain from imagining what might have happened on that couch.

_Well nothings going to happen tonight_ , his brain helpfully replied. _Just two friends sitting and making a YouTube video for Buzzfeed. At best, there will a friendly nudge between work colleagues. Maybe a bro fist bump, who knows. Legs touching, probably, it’s a small couch. Maybe Shane will make a joke and do the old yawn-arm-around your shoulder thing for comic effect. It is a sex party video after all. Maybe.._

Ryan stopped himself from going any further. There was no point thinking like this. For one thing, it was never going to happen. For another, it was highly unprofessional and Ryan prided himself on his professionalism. Clicking back into work-mode, he thanked Claire again for sorting the room.

“No problem,” Claire smiled. “There’s a bathroom just down the hall if you need to freshen up and the ballroom is up the stairs and through the first door to your left. But I’ll let you explore the rest of the party yourselves. There’s plenty of things to see up there - watch out for the Lion’s Den, now!” She gave Shane a wicked smile. “Have a good time tonight boys. Remember this is space to explore your desires, let yourself enjoy a little freedom, eh?” She patted Ryan on the shoulder and left the room.

“Did...did Claire just pat me? Was that last bit of the speech aimed at me, do you think? What does she mean, enjoy some freedoms?!” Ryan sputtered indignantly.

“Oh yeah, it was definitely aimed at you, buddy, 100%.” Shane grinned back.

“Hey, you don’t have to sound so certain, you know, she could have meant it to you too!”

“Nope - no way. I love my freedoms, I’m free as a bird, baby - I’m loosey goosey!” Shane flailed his arms about wildly. Ryan laughed.

“Jesus, Shane, keep those noodles away from me!”

“You mean theeeeese noodles?” Shane replied, approaching Ryan and waving his arms even more dramatically in Ryan’s direction, making Ryan wheeze with laughter as he attempted to duck away.

“Hey, woah, haha, stop! Will you watch it with those things? You’re gonna put my eye out.”

“Ahhhhhh not the first time that’s been said at an orgy, eh? _Amirite_?!”

Ryan let out another wheeze. “Real witty, dude. Save your zingers for the other guests, don’t waste them all at once.”

"You make a good point,” Shane stopped and tapped a thoughtful finger to his lips. “Bet I could pull a serious hottie with these mad puns.”

Ryan tried to keep his instant annoyance from his expression. “Ha, yeah, maybe I guess. Remember we’re here to work though, buddy, not actually to fuck.”

“Oh I don’t know,” Shane replied casually, “a little bit of both is good for the soul.”

Ryan knew Shane was joking, or, at least, he hoped he was, and so he decided to ignore that last comment and focus on the evening ahead.

“Right, well, we better get our shit together and get ready for this thing. I’m going to go freshen up in that bathroom like Claire suggested,” Ryan paused, catching the dark mask box out of the corner of his eye. “I suppose I better put this mask on too.” Taking the mask out of the box, he began to awkwardly try and attach it to his face, but it was heavy and its strings needed to be tied tightly to support its weight. The damn thing kept slipping down Ryan’s nose.

“Can I help you with that?” Shane asked, trying to hold back his amusement, and failing.

Ryan was sorely tempted to reject the offer, but he really did need the help. He held the mask out to Shane in silent acquiescence, and in a few moments Shane was behind him and tying the black satin ribbon for him. He felt Shane’s long fingers looping the ribbon and brushing against his head and hair as he did so. Shane was standing so close behind him, Ryan could sense his weight and warmth pressing against his back, pushing against him and pulling him in, daring him to move backwards and sink fully into the embrace. Then, when the ribbon was tied, there was a soft pause, before Shane lightly placed both hands on Ryan’s shoulders and brushed very delicately down Ryan’s arms in one smooth motion, as if sweeping away lint from his shirt. Ryan stood still, transfixed.

“Ryan,” Shane was speaking now, “about this morning, I just wanted to - “

Shit. Not this again. Ryan couldn’t handle that conversation right now, not here. The conversation where Shane apologised for making Ryan feel something so intensely and then let him down gently. It was all for the cameras right? All part of what Claire had described as their likeable onscreen banter. But offscreen? It was only Ryan who was left as the joke. He had to act now, to stop this conversation in its tracks.

“Ha-hey buddy, how do I look?” He leapt forward and spun around, turning to face Shane and putting significant distance between them. Shane looked crestfallen, just for a moment, but then that emotion quickly shifted and melted away, leaving behind nothing but calm.

“You look....” Ryan waited for the joke, for the playful banter, but this time Shane didn’t bite, “...dashing. You look dashing.”

Ryan blinked. “Dashing, huh? Like a knight in shining armour in a cheesy rom com?”

“Something like that, yeah” Shane replied, but he seemed a little off and Ryan wasn’t really sure what to make of it.

“Well I guess I better take my dashing ass to the bathroom. Ha - gotta dash!”

“Haha,” Shane laughed but it didn’t quite meet his eyes. “Make sure you don’t get lost - wouldn’t want you to take a wrong turn and end up in the Lion’s Den now huh?”

“Yeah, what was that all about?” Ryan scrunched up his face, but Shane simply shrugged. “I guess we’re about to find out.”

_Yup_ , thought Ryan, _I guess we are_. _Fuck_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love to build tension, I'm sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> Updates asap!


End file.
